THE INTERVIEW

have you ever tried to interview yourself. even i didn't no not until this morning when this crazy idea of interviewing myself has struck me. here are the excerpts from the interview.

SANDEEP(THE HOST): hey man nice to see you around so how are we? (this particular line is lifted from the movie green street hooligans 15 minutes into the movie you could hear pete saying this).

SANDEEP(THE GUEST): still surviving.

SANDEEP(H)(lighting up a cigarette): need one?

SANDEEP(G): i could murder one ( jai simha i could see you smiling. yes you are correct lifted from snatch).

SANDEEP(H): lets start the show you ready?

SANDEEP(G): hit me.

SANDEEP(H): this part of the show is called when was the last time? here comes the first one.

SANDEEP(H):when was the last time you cried?

SANDEEP(G): last night.

SANDEEP(H):when did you last masturbate?

SANDEEP(G): about an hour ago.

SANDEEP(H):when was your last brush with drugs?

SANDEEP(G):i dont do drugs. i mean serious drugs anyways its been ages( two full weeks) since i smoked a marijuana joint.

SANDEEP(H):when was the last time you stole some money?

SANDEEP(G): this morning for christ's sake dont look at me like that i hate that stare of your's. they are for my daily supply of cigarettes.

SANDEEP(H): when was the last time you saw a nice telugu flick?

SANDEEP(G): come on man my memory's good but not that good.

SANDEEP(H): take your time.

SANDEEP(G): (light's a cigarette half way through the cigarette comes our answer) JAGADAM.

THE SECOND ROUND.

SANDEEP(H): are you proud to be an indian?

SANDEEP(G): no, i am not and please cut the patriotic bull shit.

SANDEEP(H): the best indian film ever made?

SANDEEP(G): swades.

SANDEEP(H): if given a gun with two bullets in it who would be your target?

SANDEEP(G): BOTH OF US.

SANDEEP(H):the actor you respect the most?

SANDEEP(g): naseeruddin shah.

SANDEEP(H): all time favorite author?

SANDEEP(G): HANIF BHAI.

SANDEEP(H): best oscar acceptance speech till date? ( according to you)

SANDEEP(g): the one made by joe pesci while accepting the best supporting role oscar for his role in goodfellas all he said was " thank you".

SANDEEP(H): are you brand obsessed?

SANDEEP(g): no, just conscious.

SANDEEP(h): ever kissed a girl?

SANDEEP(g): yes if she could be called one.

SANDEEP(h): is football taking the place of cricket in india and pakistan?

SANDEEP(g): 100 years from now when school children in india and pakistan read about their countries they learn three things. children in india

1. cricket.
2. constitution and
3. gandhi

children in pakistan
1. cricket.
2. constitution and
3. jinnah

no sport can take the place of cricket atleast in both these countries. cricket in these countries is immortal.

SANDEEP(h): whoa that was a good one mate. would love to ask you some more but we are running out of time thanks for your time.

SANDEEP(g): my pleasure. could you lend me a cigarette?