First day of the college a starry eyed kid enters it no prizes for guessing thats me. i still remember those moments getting down from the car with box car racer playing in the background and feeling dissapointed looking at the campus.
few days into the college i developed a strong hatred towards it. hatred the that would destroy me in the future. hatred born out of anger and frustration. three full months have passed and i never spoke more than a few words a day. half the class thought i was dumb and the other half insane. even i began to question my sanity. the very sight of a people scared me to death and the thought of conversing with them bedazzled me. the pod my brother gave saved me for a while but that didn't last long. thats when i introduced myself to cigarettes "little soldiers of death" as i lovingly call them. even now they are my most royal and loyal set of friends. the day started with my lips sucking on to the soft stub of a cigarette and the nicotine acting as an anesthesia for the horrible surgery that i would have to undergo for the rest of the day. had this horrible feeling of being stabbed continuously when i was amidst people and a feeling of elation and celebration when i was alone.
that shithole snist has ruined me. darkness has taken over me but even on the most darkest of the nights the sky has a bright spot "moon". and deekshith proved to be my bright spot.
theres still some hope that i would become normal again but this hope is dying and its dying quickly
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tribute to deekshit eh?..but if i can, ill tell you something, i mean i don't really know you and we've never spoken but i and raghav were discussing about this today..and for a really long time..its probly the way you treat your college that it'll treat you back..deekshit has a similar problem with his college..he thinks it sucks because it doesnt have a sandy, a raghav, a sirish, a anirudh in it..but probly u might find sm frnds dere too..give it a chance..
ReplyDeletesaley.....do you think I am so deserving?
ReplyDeleteanywayz a beautiful piece ra bawa!
sirish i appreciate your suggestion. as i have already mentioned in the blog those people scare me ra see "those people" include my so called friends the reason they scare me is they do things which they dont want to but still they do it because the majority are doing it i dont know if i am correct or wrong but if there is something which i have learnt from that shithole then this is it. i know the reason for my 2 and half year silence and i am proud of it.
ReplyDeletebawa this blog is dedicated to you. i compared you to the moon because the moon people see in uganda is the same that we people see in india so, no matter where ever i am dead or alive u would be the only bright spot in my life atleast untill i have a girl of my own
ReplyDeleteahm! if you are so confident, then i s'pose you are right..and deekshit, racha kada ;)..
ReplyDeleteabey i can smell sarcacism in your reply kaani i cant help. i am one of those people living on the line and everyday is a struggle for us. you might suggest me to jump but that jump could cost me my life
ReplyDeleterofl! but ain't life all about crossing lines. remember "there are things we know and things we don't, and in between there are doors"..and no, i wasn't being sarcastic..that's prob'ly my last trait..
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