have you ever tried to interview yourself. even i didn't no not until this morning when this crazy idea of interviewing myself has struck me. here are the excerpts from the interview.
SANDEEP(THE HOST): hey man nice to see you around so how are we? (this particular line is lifted from the movie green street hooligans 15 minutes into the movie you could hear pete saying this).
SANDEEP(THE GUEST): still surviving.
SANDEEP(H)(lighting up a cigarette): need one?
SANDEEP(G): i could murder one ( jai simha i could see you smiling. yes you are correct lifted from snatch).
SANDEEP(H): lets start the show you ready?
SANDEEP(G): hit me.
SANDEEP(H): this part of the show is called when was the last time? here comes the first one.
SANDEEP(H):when was the last time you cried?
SANDEEP(G): last night.
SANDEEP(H):when did you last masturbate?
SANDEEP(G): about an hour ago.
SANDEEP(H):when was your last brush with drugs?
SANDEEP(G):i dont do drugs. i mean serious drugs anyways its been ages( two full weeks) since i smoked a marijuana joint.
SANDEEP(H):when was the last time you stole some money?
SANDEEP(G): this morning for christ's sake dont look at me like that i hate that stare of your's. they are for my daily supply of cigarettes.
SANDEEP(H): when was the last time you saw a nice telugu flick?
SANDEEP(G): come on man my memory's good but not that good.
SANDEEP(H): take your time.
SANDEEP(G): (light's a cigarette half way through the cigarette comes our answer) JAGADAM.
THE SECOND ROUND.
SANDEEP(H): are you proud to be an indian?
SANDEEP(G): no, i am not and please cut the patriotic bull shit.
SANDEEP(H): the best indian film ever made?
SANDEEP(G): swades.
SANDEEP(H): if given a gun with two bullets in it who would be your target?
SANDEEP(G): BOTH OF US.
SANDEEP(H):the actor you respect the most?
SANDEEP(g): naseeruddin shah.
SANDEEP(H): all time favorite author?
SANDEEP(G): HANIF BHAI.
SANDEEP(H): best oscar acceptance speech till date? ( according to you)
SANDEEP(g): the one made by joe pesci while accepting the best supporting role oscar for his role in goodfellas all he said was " thank you".
SANDEEP(H): are you brand obsessed?
SANDEEP(g): no, just conscious.
SANDEEP(h): ever kissed a girl?
SANDEEP(g): yes if she could be called one.
SANDEEP(h): is football taking the place of cricket in india and pakistan?
SANDEEP(g): 100 years from now when school children in india and pakistan read about their countries they learn three things. children in india
1. cricket.
2. constitution and
3. gandhi
children in pakistan
1. cricket.
2. constitution and
3. jinnah
no sport can take the place of cricket atleast in both these countries. cricket in these countries is immortal.
SANDEEP(h): whoa that was a good one mate. would love to ask you some more but we are running out of time thanks for your time.
SANDEEP(g): my pleasure. could you lend me a cigarette?
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
THE FIRST'S
everyone has got their own set of first's the first crush, the first cigarette, the first pint of beer, the first fuck, the first bunk , the first blog, the first book, first name, first brush with drugs. i stop here because if i dont the list would go on and on. the first's never end everything has got a first.
all my previous blogs have got a paper draft attached to them. this is my first blog witout a paper draft. see as i have told you the first's never end. this feels good no planning, no idea about what you are going to write for the next 20 odd minutes.
what i am trying to do here is i am trying to recapture all those exiting, anxious, humiliating (what not everyother word that would define a feeling) moments.
after a long pause i start writing this.......
1. THE FIRST CRUSH.
once upon a time there was a guy named sandeep who happens to be the same guy who's presently writing this. this guy was in his mid teens respectably tall, fat on the whole not so good looking. everyday on his way to the school he met a girl he called her angel. she was beautiful the beauty was beyond the reach of our not-so-good-looking-fat sandeep but that did not bother him. the only thing that bothered to him was he was alive and luckily he had a set of eyes. he considered himself lucky that he was able to see her. these people sandeep and the angel never spoke but they swapped looks. he bought her a gift with all the money that he could lay his hands upon and gathering some courage he tried to give it to her but with all due respects to sandeep she politely refused the gift. that refusal scene formed the climax they never looked at each other nor they ever met again. .....
2.THE FIRST CIGARETTE
i have been smoking for the past 3 years. every smoker has an inspiration the inspiration which fuels the urge in him to get hold of a cigarette and burn it down to ashes now, all you smokers if you still remember your inspiration and if he is still alive go kill him. i cant kill mine because my inspiration happens to be the other son of my own mother my brother. i was obsessed with the way he sucked on to the stub of a cigarette it was so charming. having made up my mind i drove to a nearby cafe on a breezy sunday morning bought a cigarette and with my hands shaking i started smoking the first cigarette of my life ..........
3. THE FIRST BUNK
hey deekshith remember our first bunk because if you dont i am gonna kill ya. and you jai simha do you remember the movie from which i lifted the above dialouge cos if you dont i'll kill ya too. our first bunk happened on the second day of our engineering college all you engineering folk out there none of you would have bunked the college on the second day itself but we did. after watching our college buses go past us we sat there in barsta feeling elated over the fact that there is no other way that we could actually reach our college. time went past and after emptying a dozen cups of tea we got up when the clock struck 11. standing there outside ganga we waited patiently for the gates to open. time went by more and more people gathered and our hopes of watching a movie on our first bunk are slowly fading away. but thanks to some smart thinking by sandeep we got the the tickets and the movie was the ultra dumb "happy days" though i hated eveybit of what we saw on the screen that day i liked the feel of it........the feel of watching a movie on the first bunk of your life
i stop here because if i dont this would never end remember the first's never end...............
all my previous blogs have got a paper draft attached to them. this is my first blog witout a paper draft. see as i have told you the first's never end. this feels good no planning, no idea about what you are going to write for the next 20 odd minutes.
what i am trying to do here is i am trying to recapture all those exiting, anxious, humiliating (what not everyother word that would define a feeling) moments.
after a long pause i start writing this.......
1. THE FIRST CRUSH.
once upon a time there was a guy named sandeep who happens to be the same guy who's presently writing this. this guy was in his mid teens respectably tall, fat on the whole not so good looking. everyday on his way to the school he met a girl he called her angel. she was beautiful the beauty was beyond the reach of our not-so-good-looking-fat sandeep but that did not bother him. the only thing that bothered to him was he was alive and luckily he had a set of eyes. he considered himself lucky that he was able to see her. these people sandeep and the angel never spoke but they swapped looks. he bought her a gift with all the money that he could lay his hands upon and gathering some courage he tried to give it to her but with all due respects to sandeep she politely refused the gift. that refusal scene formed the climax they never looked at each other nor they ever met again. .....
2.THE FIRST CIGARETTE
i have been smoking for the past 3 years. every smoker has an inspiration the inspiration which fuels the urge in him to get hold of a cigarette and burn it down to ashes now, all you smokers if you still remember your inspiration and if he is still alive go kill him. i cant kill mine because my inspiration happens to be the other son of my own mother my brother. i was obsessed with the way he sucked on to the stub of a cigarette it was so charming. having made up my mind i drove to a nearby cafe on a breezy sunday morning bought a cigarette and with my hands shaking i started smoking the first cigarette of my life ..........
3. THE FIRST BUNK
hey deekshith remember our first bunk because if you dont i am gonna kill ya. and you jai simha do you remember the movie from which i lifted the above dialouge cos if you dont i'll kill ya too. our first bunk happened on the second day of our engineering college all you engineering folk out there none of you would have bunked the college on the second day itself but we did. after watching our college buses go past us we sat there in barsta feeling elated over the fact that there is no other way that we could actually reach our college. time went past and after emptying a dozen cups of tea we got up when the clock struck 11. standing there outside ganga we waited patiently for the gates to open. time went by more and more people gathered and our hopes of watching a movie on our first bunk are slowly fading away. but thanks to some smart thinking by sandeep we got the the tickets and the movie was the ultra dumb "happy days" though i hated eveybit of what we saw on the screen that day i liked the feel of it........the feel of watching a movie on the first bunk of your life
i stop here because if i dont this would never end remember the first's never end...............
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
POSTERS
i have tried hard infact very hard to stay away from cinema in my last six blogs. but, i think i've had enough i cant do it anymore. as, the famous amitabh dialouge goes "i eat english i drink english i sleep english my name is anthony gonsalves" the same way "i drink cinema i eat cinema i think cinema my name is dirty harry".
caught in a traffic jam with sweat dripping down your face you look around hoping for a miracle and there you see gopichand holding an attractive sword smeared with blood and anger occupying every nook and corner of his face. this is a poster designed for his latest film shankham.
a film may be good in its contents but a bad poster design may affect it adversly on the flip side a bad film with some interesting poster designing might drive people to the theatres. talking about my personal experience hollywood and bollywood succeed in deceiving me on regular basis but tollywood has barely managed to do it.
a poster can gross millions of dollars think its funny? even, i thought the same but it aint. nine years ago the posters of blair witch project have created a storm in the u.s of a. made on a shoe string budget the film starred all new comers and it was released simultaneously with a high budget action flick. interestingly this film grossed more than its counterpart thus, raising the curtain for an entirely new method of poster designing the unconventional method.
why did the posters of blair with became such a rage? just because they were able to raise the curiosity levels in people .
though a bit inconsistent bollywood has always been able to churn out good " they get you thinking" posters. for all those people who saw "wake up sid" the beta beti poster behind konkana sen sharmas desk depicting a poor mother and her two children is a classic example of this.
here comes our very own tollywood the latest to hit the roads are posters of a new kalyanram movie showing this idiot walking beside a tiger powerful huh? how many times have we seen a tollywood hero being compared with animals i am sorry by animals i mean a lion, tiger and all those powerful species. the people are tired of such posters atleast the intelligentia unfortunately the filmmakers aren't.
though a few films like sarai veeraju are showing some promise and making a statement that filmmakers are changing. but this ain't enough.
tollywood is in dire need of some good poster designers
caught in a traffic jam with sweat dripping down your face you look around hoping for a miracle and there you see gopichand holding an attractive sword smeared with blood and anger occupying every nook and corner of his face. this is a poster designed for his latest film shankham.
a film may be good in its contents but a bad poster design may affect it adversly on the flip side a bad film with some interesting poster designing might drive people to the theatres. talking about my personal experience hollywood and bollywood succeed in deceiving me on regular basis but tollywood has barely managed to do it.
a poster can gross millions of dollars think its funny? even, i thought the same but it aint. nine years ago the posters of blair witch project have created a storm in the u.s of a. made on a shoe string budget the film starred all new comers and it was released simultaneously with a high budget action flick. interestingly this film grossed more than its counterpart thus, raising the curtain for an entirely new method of poster designing the unconventional method.
why did the posters of blair with became such a rage? just because they were able to raise the curiosity levels in people .
though a bit inconsistent bollywood has always been able to churn out good " they get you thinking" posters. for all those people who saw "wake up sid" the beta beti poster behind konkana sen sharmas desk depicting a poor mother and her two children is a classic example of this.
here comes our very own tollywood the latest to hit the roads are posters of a new kalyanram movie showing this idiot walking beside a tiger powerful huh? how many times have we seen a tollywood hero being compared with animals i am sorry by animals i mean a lion, tiger and all those powerful species. the people are tired of such posters atleast the intelligentia unfortunately the filmmakers aren't.
though a few films like sarai veeraju are showing some promise and making a statement that filmmakers are changing. but this ain't enough.
tollywood is in dire need of some good poster designers
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
THE BRIGHT SPOT
First day of the college a starry eyed kid enters it no prizes for guessing thats me. i still remember those moments getting down from the car with box car racer playing in the background and feeling dissapointed looking at the campus.
few days into the college i developed a strong hatred towards it. hatred the that would destroy me in the future. hatred born out of anger and frustration. three full months have passed and i never spoke more than a few words a day. half the class thought i was dumb and the other half insane. even i began to question my sanity. the very sight of a people scared me to death and the thought of conversing with them bedazzled me. the pod my brother gave saved me for a while but that didn't last long. thats when i introduced myself to cigarettes "little soldiers of death" as i lovingly call them. even now they are my most royal and loyal set of friends. the day started with my lips sucking on to the soft stub of a cigarette and the nicotine acting as an anesthesia for the horrible surgery that i would have to undergo for the rest of the day. had this horrible feeling of being stabbed continuously when i was amidst people and a feeling of elation and celebration when i was alone.
that shithole snist has ruined me. darkness has taken over me but even on the most darkest of the nights the sky has a bright spot "moon". and deekshith proved to be my bright spot.
theres still some hope that i would become normal again but this hope is dying and its dying quickly
few days into the college i developed a strong hatred towards it. hatred the that would destroy me in the future. hatred born out of anger and frustration. three full months have passed and i never spoke more than a few words a day. half the class thought i was dumb and the other half insane. even i began to question my sanity. the very sight of a people scared me to death and the thought of conversing with them bedazzled me. the pod my brother gave saved me for a while but that didn't last long. thats when i introduced myself to cigarettes "little soldiers of death" as i lovingly call them. even now they are my most royal and loyal set of friends. the day started with my lips sucking on to the soft stub of a cigarette and the nicotine acting as an anesthesia for the horrible surgery that i would have to undergo for the rest of the day. had this horrible feeling of being stabbed continuously when i was amidst people and a feeling of elation and celebration when i was alone.
that shithole snist has ruined me. darkness has taken over me but even on the most darkest of the nights the sky has a bright spot "moon". and deekshith proved to be my bright spot.
theres still some hope that i would become normal again but this hope is dying and its dying quickly
Thursday, October 15, 2009
THE OMEN
Hordes of grasshoppers have receeded on the ripened fields of wheat. the village folk considered it a bad omen and they could sense the oncoming danger.Then began one of the most bloodiest mass carnage and the first of its kind in the history of mankind.This particular incident I'm talking about dates back to as long as 200 years.The village folk killed in the carnage were catholic christians and the killers "The Ottoman Empire"
The fields in India are beginning to ripe and grasshopers are making there way one by one the 91 bombay blasts marked the arrrival of the first grasshopper and the recent being 26/11 attacks.
theres no stopping these grasshoppers no, not until we stop encouraging people like narendra modi. you must be wondering why i used the word encouraging and narendra modi? i have my own reasons, a few years back a compartment carrying hindus was set ablaze by people and some of them happened to be muslims. this, fuelled the anger of hindus which resulted in one of the biggest carnage that our country has ever witnessed killing 2000 odd muslims. interestingly, narendra modi played a key role in imparting ignition to the fuelled hindus.
modi was re-elected as the chief minister of gujarat . now, i think i made myself clear why i used the terms encouraging and modi.
as, i have already told you there's no stopping these grasshoppers not until we stop encouraging these criminals dividing us on the basis of region , religion and language.
The fields in India are beginning to ripe and grasshopers are making there way one by one the 91 bombay blasts marked the arrrival of the first grasshopper and the recent being 26/11 attacks.
theres no stopping these grasshoppers no, not until we stop encouraging people like narendra modi. you must be wondering why i used the word encouraging and narendra modi? i have my own reasons, a few years back a compartment carrying hindus was set ablaze by people and some of them happened to be muslims. this, fuelled the anger of hindus which resulted in one of the biggest carnage that our country has ever witnessed killing 2000 odd muslims. interestingly, narendra modi played a key role in imparting ignition to the fuelled hindus.
modi was re-elected as the chief minister of gujarat . now, i think i made myself clear why i used the terms encouraging and modi.
as, i have already told you there's no stopping these grasshoppers not until we stop encouraging these criminals dividing us on the basis of region , religion and language.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
the greatest innings ever palyed
india were 5 down and the score card read 17. the radios were switched off and the people carried on with their work cursing all five now, sitting pretty in the dressing room. and then came the captain who went on to play this innings which later on gave birth to the term "captains knock".
the captain i am talking about is kapil dev and the blitzkreig took place during the quarterfanal against zimbawbe in the 1983 prudential world cup.
the innings included a tally of 11 sixes and 14 fours and kapil alone scored 175 in indias score of 238. india won the game and eventually went on to win the world cup.
unfortunately this spectacle was not caught on camera. the british broadcasting company in short bbc played the spoil sport and the reason being a salary hike strike by its employees.
and, the lucky indian supporters present their watching the match live are still unable to forget the innings which produced goosebumps and sent down a chill down their spine.
"that 175 has to be the greatest innings in the worldcup" later, wrote gavaskar in his autobiography and quiet evidently it was included and placed at no.4 in the compilation of wisdens top 10 cricketing performances of all time.
on the whole post league stage it was all kapils show "the 175 got us into the semi finals and that catch(richards) got us the final".
this has got to be the greatest innings ever played.......
the captain i am talking about is kapil dev and the blitzkreig took place during the quarterfanal against zimbawbe in the 1983 prudential world cup.
the innings included a tally of 11 sixes and 14 fours and kapil alone scored 175 in indias score of 238. india won the game and eventually went on to win the world cup.
unfortunately this spectacle was not caught on camera. the british broadcasting company in short bbc played the spoil sport and the reason being a salary hike strike by its employees.
and, the lucky indian supporters present their watching the match live are still unable to forget the innings which produced goosebumps and sent down a chill down their spine.
"that 175 has to be the greatest innings in the worldcup" later, wrote gavaskar in his autobiography and quiet evidently it was included and placed at no.4 in the compilation of wisdens top 10 cricketing performances of all time.
on the whole post league stage it was all kapils show "the 175 got us into the semi finals and that catch(richards) got us the final".
this has got to be the greatest innings ever played.......
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